What Is In Your Heart Will Eventually Show

b0cf090eb3590b5ff3fbad58be448df6.jpgThe moments we show our true colours is when the layers are peeled back. No one, not anybody, can be truly defined by their job, their appearances, how much money they earn, what education they have, what car they have, what clothes they wear, what house they live in, how many friends they have or what photos they’ve taken. External definitions do not bring long term happiness. The true happiness that we feel are the moments we act with kindness and love, lend a helping hand or spend time with loved ones. It’s the kind that we feel in our heart. I recently listened to a video here, where he reminds us to be a selfless and loving person even in the heat of the moment.

We may have times where we’ve compared with someone else, and automatically it can bring ourselves down. No one can be happy by comparing themselves or pretending to be someone else. The video mentions about taking off the mask. This is something that really spoke to me because I believe so deeply in being true to yourself. At the same time, as an INFJ, I tend to be very private and not show many people the true me completely. As much as I value being oneself, there is that slight contradiction where I do strive to be myself, but at the same time, not everyone will see me for me at a glance. But perhaps only over time, if not years!

As much as I love writing about fashion, art, film and books, the one thing I feel most important to write about are topics like this. They are messages we need a reminder of. The way we value life shouldn’t be of materials or from the way things look. Everyone is capable of kindness and improving themselves. The kindness that’s important, is doing things even when not a soul will see it. We often judge things from the way they look. People may judge a person the way we judge a painting or a book cover at a glance. Things are most often not what they seem to appear. Imagine the way the water looks on the surface, with its dark blue peaceful ripples, and picture a beautiful magical ancient ruin beneath. There’s a story hidden inside that we don’t see at first.

The title reads What Is In Your Heart Will Eventually Show from how much beauty, we may or may not see in someone the more we become closer. What is in our heart shows through our actions. When people start to open up to each other, there’s a part of them that’s unlocked. Their personality and a certain rawness start showing more and more. A beautiful person is seen from their heart, where over time it opens like a sleeping rose. In 1 Peter 3-4 reads: Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 

Art by Jiwoon Pak

When Do We Show Our True Colours?

apples.jpgThe first time I heard the words true colours, was when Eva Cassidy sang the song. Cambridge Dictionary defines true colours as the kind of person someone really is rather than what the person seems to be.  Imagine if something terrible happened in the world, do you ever wonder if this will peel who we are, and reveal everyone’s true colours? There was an interesting article I came by the other day, which talked about how money doesn’t change people, it simply reveals ones true colours. I feel that I agree with that in the sense that we have a choice in the ‘power’ and responsibility we are given. Is it only in crisis and instability, when we may show our true colours?

Perhaps in tough times, it may show our ability and stability to handle certain situations. It may also simply show what one may already have experienced before or how one copes with different scenarios. True colours to me just means who we are wholeheartedly, raw and naked. Not in the physical sense, but in who we are as a whole. It’s who we are, regardless of if we are in a tough situation or not. However, I do feel there are certain things that do reveal more of who we are. The one thing we know for sure, is that everyone is different. We all see the world in a different way. Everyone has their own values in life and people change for good or bad. No one is perfect.

How authentic and real are we with who we are in our everyday lives? There is power in being yourself. There is truth in being the person you were born to be, rather than striving be to someone you’re not. Regardless of how we react in a crisis, our true colours show in the simple hours of each day. The actions we take. Actions speak louder than words. How someone treats a waiter, the time someone takes to help or those who lend an ear to listen. What someone says about others, says a lot about themselves. “You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.” ― Audrey Hepburn. 

We show a lot about ourselves in how we treat other people. Sometimes, there are those that are more quiet and cold at first, but have a warm and kind heart. There may be those that are friendly and outgoing, but may gossip and speak badly about others or vice versa. True colours can often show from those who feel superior towards a certain person. Whether it’s by their career, appearances or status. A person I admire and value is the one who is honest. The one that doesn’t tell others what they are unsatisfied about you behind your back. They tell you upfront because they care about you and want you to change for the best.

There are small things from losing a game, the way someone treats animals, how someone speaks of others, what one often chooses to talk about, if they lose a job, how someone deals with traffic, the friends they make, what one values and so on. The importance of not judging others unkindly and unjustly, is because we all have something that makes us upset. Everyone has the chance to change. It’s important to just remind oneself to treat others how you would want to be treated. I still remember the days of being a waitress and meeting all kinds of people. If an egg wasn’t cooked exactly the way someone wanted, there are those who will politely ask for another one and there are those who will shout at you for another one.

A true friend is one that is happy for your happiness, and is honest to you no matter what. They may tell you things you may not want to hear, because they want the best for you. Lastly, in the words of J.K Rowling:

“Yes,” said Hermione in a heated voice, “he sacked her, just because she hadn’t stayed in her tent and let herself get trampled—”

“Hermione, will you give it a rest with the elf!” said Ron.

Sirius shook his head and said, “She’s got the measure of Crouch better than you have, Ron.  If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”

Image via Cabbages & Roses

Be Careful With Who You Trust In Friendships

Do you remember the way words would travel as fast as a bird flying by, and one moment everyone at school or work would know about someone or something? It’s the realisation that: Most people you interact with will talk about you if they discover something about you. Sometimes it’s not in a bad way, but sometimes it’s not kind. I’m not sure when it was exactly that I stopped trusting as many people, but it comes from a place of being hurt when your trust breaks with someone you deeply trusted or felt a connection with. The amount of people that judge through surface leveled information really appals me. It really does. I cannot fathom why some people judge so harshly on others on the way someone looks, what they wear and what they do for a living.

There are only a handful of people in my life that I can trust with my heart. Unfortunately there are a lot of fake and untrustworthy people in this world. Then there are also those that truly have a kind heart but they speak words to everyone. I remember a friend I made several years ago, I drew closer to her and over time I opened up about certain parts of myself. What really hurt me most was that she ended up sharing those parts of myself with other people. As I grow older I have less and less friend over the years, because I am very careful with who I can call a close friend. True friends are quality not quantity. Having a friend that shares similar values with you is really important.

That is why there is importance in thinking before you speak. A true friend is one that will listen to you. They won’t nod their head a long with you in everything you say or tell you what you want to hear. They will tell you when they feel you’re wrong or give their best advice to you because they want the best for you. Think of it as if you were shopping with your friend, you want give her the best honest feedback. “Sometimes people who don’t socialize much aren’t actually anti-social, they just have no tolerance to drama and fake people.” – Unknown. This rings true with me, as I prefer to spend time alone or spend one on one time with someone close.

Be mindful of who you choose to trust. It’s natural when we’re young there is a certain purity and innocence in the way we might trust most people, because we believe there is good in every person. I know that is definitely how I felt, which was why I was often called gullible. I really wanted to believe that what one says is out of heart, but as you grow older you know that is sadly not always the case. I was extremely trusting, and as much as I wish today that people have good hearts (and part of my heart does still believe this), we cannot trust most people.

True friends are those that don’t need to know everything about you. They try to understand and can sit with you in silence with ease. If you have problems in your life, always tell someone you completely trust.That’s why I don’t think people need to know so much about someones personal life. Which is why I always get surprised when I hear about someone I’m not close to asking about my personal life. Anyone can smile and be friendly, but it is very rare to come by an individual that deeply cares for you. True friendship is precious. Remember to hold onto them.

shop  via madewell.com

The Power Of True Kindness

Cinderella-There are 3 ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” Fred Rogers. 

Our society focuses more on the bad rather than the good. We hear bad news more so in the media. We hear gossip, deaths and crises around the world, but we hear less about acts of kindness, love and comfort. The digital world often feeds off others fears and weaknesses in order to make money. However, even in everyday life, many of us often focus on more of the negative. Bad memories tend to stick more in our minds. Many of us may choose to leave them behind, or other’s may have something that triggers them. It’s a gentle reminder that there is good news everyday that can turn our frown into a smile.

True kindness has no expectations. There is a huge difference between kindness for the sake of it or kindness from the heart. Someone can act kind, but not truly mean it. They may expect something from it or want to be treated a certain way. True Kindness is honest, compassionate and forgiving. It does not judge but wants to love. It is treating others how you would want to be treated. Human kindness can often be very superficial. You can feel the difference, just as most of us may be able to recognise a fake laugh and a real one.

Kindness is loving yourself first and foremost, before anyone else. In order to treat others with love we must first accept ourselves. Especially in this generation, many of us only care for the way things look, rather than how they are. But, a lot of the kindness that happens each day may very well be the ones we don’t see. Because in the end true kindness is not an act for recognition.

It could be someone who you know may never be able to repay you, it could be helping someone even when they didn’t ask or praying for someone, even though they don’t know you. True kindness shows the true face of someone. It shows their heart. It’s the ones who doesn’t leave others out, doesn’t hold any judgment and genuinely cares for others. In kindness, actions speak louder than words. It creates a ripple effect and an energy of positivity.

I previously talked how many people take advantage of people who are kind here. As an introvert, there are also myths about introverts being rude, because of not participating in something or turning down a social event. Introverts show kindness in a quiet way (from my experience). Remember to surround yourselves with people who will love you the same and treat you the same without expecting anything in return.

Stay True

true

Self Confidence is believing in yourself. Of course this isn’t the only defining quality of self confidence, but it’s such an important one. When I watch the Ted X talks they inspire me and reflect aspects of my everyday life on what really matters and what doesn’t. My journey with self confidence is something I still journey through everyday. One thing I always strongly believe in is something my Father use to tell me all the time, and that is to just be yourself and stay true to yourself. You must love yourself before you can love those around you. Surround yourself with people that make you feel like you matter. Nothing is worse than being constantly put down by people, and especially in a digital world it’s easy for this to happen everyday without the act of personal confrontation. Self Confidence is being honest and positive. It is knowing that even if you fail, you will not back out and run due to fear, but you will keep trying, trying and trying until you have reached your ultimate goal.

Staying true to yourself is something I feel strong about, because as a society we conform in so many ways. As a society that has a majority of views for certain areas and a painfully endless, endless line of judgement in the world. In a visual world it is very often we judge solely on what lies on the surface but not what is deep within. When I use to look at Youtube comments, it really wonders me how there are such negative people in this world who will use their words to cut and tore someone apart. Self Confidence is having the realisation that how you think of yourself is more important than how others think of you. You know yourself better than anyone, you know what makes you happy, scares you and inspires you. In a deeply judgmental world, remember to remind yourself, who I am is not defined by the people around me.