Some Wandering Thoughts On Life Lately

MONICA-100You are beautiful because of your heart. In order to truly see the stars, moon and listen to the trees in the wind, one must listen to their heart. When someone puts themselves down for the way they appear, I want to embrace them and say you’re beautiful. This reminds me of how I need to tell myself this more because there are days where my insecurities can speak words that aren’t true. In our society, women are pressured to appear a certain way, yet I think it’s so important for girls to grow up being encouraged and complimented by their abilities and personality. Their kindness, strength, intelligence, and creativity.

I had a lovely conversation with a regular customer, and she said that she feels sad when there are people who go out of their way to purposefully step on a snail. It made me sad too because if I ever see a snail walking by on the path, I always pick the snail up and put them aside. We were laughing and saying how it’s important to make friends with people who wouldn’t squish a snail. It made me think about how a person’s actions, sensitivity, and consideration shows so much about who they are and what they are like as a person. A beautiful person to me is someone who is honest and radiates a natural kindness, and have qualities that make them attractive.

The power of love, empathy and forgiveness / Asking for help opens us up, rather than carrying and holding everything in our hearts. I’ve found talking to a loved one, counseling, taking long walks, praying and practicing deep breathing very helpful. In the past few days, I had this feeling that I was about to have a panic attack. After praying and giving myself some much-needed self-love/talk I feel calmer. Love, forgiveness, and empathy are powerful. Love heals and opens our heart. Forgiveness allows us to let go of the hurt. Empathy helps us understand with compassion.

When people talk bad about Asians to me / I feel that several people that I gradually get to know may do this because I am someone willing to listen. However, there are some aspects that I find negative, especially when it brings up stereotypes. I’m learning to be more direct and communicate when I think what someone has said is unfair, or should be re-worded with a level of sensitivity. I’m not sure where I saw in a video, it mentioned that Asians make up 60% of the world’s population, and that’s when I thought, yes we better not stereotype.

The fear of falling in love / I tend to guard my heart, and I think it comes from experiences growing up. Whether it was my parent’s divorce or past experiences from high school and university. I have this fear of feeling hurt when it comes to falling in love, but I think that we have to learn to open our heart and know that we are worthy and deserving of love. Most importantly, the ability to fall in love with ourselves comes first.

My love-hate relationship with my phone / I keep my phone at home a lot. In the past, I wrote about my anxiety when the phone rings, because I’d feel put on the spot. It’s much better now because I’m used to having to pick up the phone at work. Interestingly enough a telemarketer called this year, and as I picked up the phone at my flat, I said hello. The person asked if my parents were at home, and there I felt one of the pros of having a soft voice.

I am one of those people that appreciate people who don’t use their phone too much. It’s become a norm to use your phone in the presence of others when engaging in conversations. I think it might be just that I’m old school, or it might just be that I really value having conversations without any distractions. I think of the many encounters of nearly walking into a stranger with their head down on their phone, and doing an awkward left-right dance thing.

When you leave your phone at home, there is this calming sensation of not being distracted by notifications or any phone anxiety, because there are days I can’t deal with the phone in my hand. That is the hate part. The love part is when I appreciate my phone for allowing me to talk to my family and hearing their voices. When I walk to uni, there is always this route surrounded by trees, birds, cats strolling by and people walking their dogs. It’s lovely because I find lots of elderly people I walk past, we tend to smile and say hello to one another.

Feeling gratitude for my parents / I’m so grateful to both of my parents for teaching me strength, independence, respect, patience, honesty, empathy, and love. I’m grateful for the hours my Mum listens to me on the phone with my tears and fears, expressing my deepest thoughts. I’m grateful to my Dad for making me laugh, and also the hours my Dad put his hand on my shoulder when I couldn’t stop crying. I know how much you have both been through, and I feel so much gratitude and light seeing you happy. I think for any child, the greatest happiness is seeing your own parents happy and healthy

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path – Psalm 119:105

In the stillness of your presence, you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form. You can then feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love. – Eckhart Tolle

Art by Monica Barengo

6 thoughts on “Some Wandering Thoughts On Life Lately

  1. I am happy you are feeling more comfortable being more direct at communicating your dislike when people behave badly or perpetuate negative stereotypes.
    It may not change them as people but it will change the way they behave in your presence. No need to feel uncomfortable in your personal space ;-)

  2. So interesting. I agree with the snail part and phones. Luckily I dont have many friends (lol) but the ones I have aren’t the type to be on their phones while catching up with me. I dont think they’d step on any kind of animal or insect unless it’s a cockroach ?
    Anyways, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I love reading more personal posts like these 😊

  3. A lot of really lovely thoughts here! I particularly like the snail story. And there’s a lot I can relate to, and that I’ve written about. But I can see how you are trying and reflecting and that’s such an important quality that we all need to remember to do, and appreciate it when we do it!

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