I don’t know about you, but when I was a teenager, I never set my mind on wanting to date. Sure, I’d have a crush on someone, or have those thoughts on the day I would be married and have a family, but I just never felt that desire to date. When it did happen, it happened as naturally as it does when we make a new friend. After a recent break-up from a long-term relationship, it made me reflect how spontaneous and meant to be it was in that moment in time. I wasn’t searching for someone, and then I realised that it was the person I needed in my life at that time, and that’s something I’m grateful for.
As a Christian, I want to engage with people who have the same values and beliefs as I do. This is true for any of us, that in order to have a good relationship, we need to have similar morals. After breaking up from my first relationship, I reminded myself that feeling of if the right person comes a long, then it’ll naturally happen. People come and go in our lives for a reason, but the ones who stay are usually the ones we feel a consistent connection with. The best thing to do regardless of if you are or aren’t in a relationship, is to focus on growing yourself, chasing your dreams and enjoying life.
You may feel the frustration when a stranger is interested in you, but you have no interest. As I talk to more people, I realise many people say that it’s hard to meet a good man or woman these days. I wonder why many of us are feeling this way! There are many beautiful people in this world, but the thing is not every person we encounter, we’ll feel a sparkle with. I also think we live in a culture where there are some people who have a more date to have sex mindset, rather than a date to find the right person, grow together and stay in love.
If we’re happy, loving, caring and kind towards ourselves, then we are able to truly treat others the same way. It’s good to be friends with people first. Being friends first is important, because it allows one another to get to know each other on a level that doesn’t cross boundaries. When we’re friends with people, we tend to be more ourselves, we develop a level of trust, we comfort one another and show our silly and raw sides without any romantic feelings. Friendship is also a great indicator of if one feels the same, or if both feel that it will grow into something more.
No one is perfect, and our happiness cannot be relied on anybody else. Just as we can’t be best friends with everyone, the friends we feel closest too are because both feel that level of connection. Life is unpredictable, and you never know if you’ll meet that person through the most unexpected way. I remember talking to a friend who told me that usually she knows in the first date or two if there is a connection with the person. In writing this, it’s not a way of saying a person shouldn’t date, it just means that if you can’t imagine being with the person after a while, then there isn’t true satisfaction in lingering it for much longer.
Having respect and love for yourself is the first thing you should embody in your life. When we truly love someone, we see them for their heart. We learn so much from interacting with others, and each of us have things that are important to us. At the same time if you’re someone who prefers dating, it’s okay to meet different people, because sometimes a connection grows over time. Every person is different, and we meet people in different ways. Dating to marry builds a mindset of commitment and love. I’m sure anyone who might be reading this article, will have their own views, and I’d really love to know your thoughts and opinion in the comments down below.