The Fine Art Of Not Giving A Fudge

eva.jpgWhen we care less about certain voices in our minds or the words of others, we become more happy and free. We let go of negative judgment from those we aren’t close to, and we feel unaffected by criticism that has no value to our self growth. It means wearing what you want, saying what you need to and being the person you truly are. The art of not giving a fudge, means that you know that people will judge no matter what you do. Which is why you know the importance of being true to yourself, because no matter what, we cannot live our lives to please others.

The fact of the matter is that many of us do care to different degrees what someone may think of us. These will be a range of aspects, which may be the way we look, move, talk, wear and the list goes on. Some people will care less and some will care more. I find that as you grow older, you start to care less and less. For many people, they feel more grounded in who they are, and embrace themselves as a person. An example in the past, would be how I would be conscious of how I’m a much more soft spoken person. However, over the years it’s something I really embrace about myself. It’s part of who I am.

The beauty of not giving a fudge is the comfort you feel in your skin, and the self love you give yourself. Picture a person walking a long the street in stylish clothes, and completely pulling it off effortlessly. They walk with complete confidence, and an air of not giving a thought or care of any judgment from the passerby’s. You can feel how comfortable they are. Then imagine someone who looks uncomfortable in what they’re wearing. It’s not always a visual aspect, but the way we communicate, act, move and talk can express a lot in terms of who we are as a person.

It means that you don’t give too much time wondering if people like you. The thing about being yourself, is that you are less likely to spend time wondering what other people think. It means that you accept yourself for who you are, and you make peace when you hear negative judgment from others. You have an open mind, and can differentiate between what words should be absorbed and what should just go from one ear and out the other. It means making your own decisions in life, without feeling the need to conform to popular opinion or have validation from others.

When people judge, it’s none of our business, because it’s very often a reflection of who they are as a person. It’s a reflection of how they are feeling inside. There’s a huge difference between constructive criticism and blatant judgment. The truth is people don’t think about others as much as you may think, because they are likely thinking the same thing. We are our own biggest critic. Most people are preoccupied with their own lives. The destruction happens when we compare our lives to other people. Instead, there’s an importance in appreciating and understanding that everyone has different jobs, career, relationships, hobbies and path in life.

If you like to wear certain clothing, do your makeup a certain way, have a quirky sense of humour, laugh a certain way, like to dance in public or talk about topics that interest you, embrace that. That’s what makes you you. Give yourself that benefit of being the person you were born to be, rather than molding into what society expects. The truth is that we can’t be best friends with everyone. Self respect means that you stick with your own values and are not easily swayed by what others say. You stand up for what you believe in. That’s when you can feel fulfilled in life.

I find that going more and more out of your comfort zone, means you create more experiences. You explore and discover more of the things you love. You surround yourself with people who you truly connect with. You don’t waste time on thoughts about others, but focus on self improvement and enjoyment in your own life. More often, we care more about what our loved ones think, because we value their opinions and advice. In this case, it’s different compared to what a stranger may say. We have a choice in what we give care and time to. No matter what, no one knows your journey. Be comfortable with being different, no one should try to be same as one another.

Eva Green in The Dreamers (2004)

5 thoughts on “The Fine Art Of Not Giving A Fudge

  1. I so feel this post. “It’s a reflection of how they are feeling inside.” This is so well said, and I think very true as well. Others may judge us, and we have to remind ourselves that it is their opinion. If we think the same thing, that’s fine. If not, maybe we can take it onboard as constructive criticism or just move on. Self love is so important because it encourages confidence and when we are confident, a lot of the time we can do anything and be a better person, better version of ourselves and help others become better people too. It comes full circle.

    1. Hi Mabel, I’m so glad you could relate to the post. I find that it happens often, where people will judge others even if they don’t know them. In the end we’re the ones who know ourselves the best. The ones we love are usually the people that we value their opinions. Yes, self love really does encourage confidence! I feel we need to encourage it more than ever now. Especially in our society, where it’s made normal to constantly point out our flaws, rather than our abilities.

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