I wish I could write something that was filled with more sunshine, but somehow it’s always better to be honest about how you’re feeling. I haven’t felt happy lately with the feeling of having a heavy heart. The feeling of being inside a cage, wondering when you can be set free. The feeling of waiting and feeling grey where ever you walk. I felt as if I’ve never cried so much, and yet I say that for any day that I feel completely down and out of the world. Have you ever felt so upset before, that you almost felt as if you weren’t really there?
When I feel hurt, I have to write. I have to get it off my chest. Even if it’s on paper or on a word document on my laptop. My mind runs far too fast that the words have to come out before they slide past each other and trip. I have to fill my self with music and forget about everything else. Music has a way of healing you. When I feel completely hopeless, I have to pray. It doesn’t matter what it is, I just have to pray to God that the pain will pass, otherwise I feel stuck inside of it.
There are so many things in my mind lately, that make me want to explode. There are moments that make me want to fly away to a magical land and forget about my worries. Just to escape for a moment, where everything feels dreamy. The lump in my throat seems to come and go, coming back harder against me each time. Why is it that the one’s we love the most, hurt us the most. All I can do is pray.