Every personality is so different, it’s almost like unlocking a magical ancient door and opening it to discover a garden inside of mysteries. Do you ever find the more you get to know someone, the more you feel as if they look different because you start seeing their personality shining through, rather than the initial first impression? As an INFJ there are certain things that I find hard to relate and other things that maybe, well, is just part of my individual personality. But in hopes of writing this article, I hope my fellow INFJs will understand some of these little (or not so little) things.
1) The need to quietly (or loudly) express ourselves. Whether that’s through writing, playing a musical instrument, dancing, painting or creating something.
2) Lingering thoughts in the mind. Although we may speak less (depending on the person and environment), our minds can be like a maze gathering thoughts.
3) Keeping a to do lists or having a plan. I’m all for spontaneity sometimes, but feel the need to have a check list of what I need to tick off during the day.
4) Cutting out people who hurt you. If someone hurts you, betrays you or lies to you and you feel they no longer can be your friend, you cut ties immediately.
5) Group conversations are usually when you’re the listener. I find especially if I’m not close to the people in the group, I am usually the one listening, nodding, quietly agreeing or disagreeing.
6) Alone time to recharge the batteries. I find if I socialise for an hour or so, then I will need to wind down for several hours alone in order to regain energy.
7) Being accused of being shy or quiet. I previously wrote an article: I’m Not Shy, I’m An Introvert, as shyness is not the same as the word introverted. The thought that I’m quiet tends to occur with people I’m not close to.
8) We think and feel very deeply. If we feel happy, it can be such a wonderful and sunshiney feeling, and if we are sad, we feel every bit of the sadness within us.
9) Setting high standards for ones self. We set the bar very high for ourselves and have inner goals that we would like to achieve.
10) Being highly observant of other people. The ability to sense others emotions more profoundly from the way they move, talk, what they say and their facial expressions.
11) Searching for deep relationships. We would much rather want 1 or 2 close friends to talk to then a dozen friends to small talk to.
12) When you want to sleep, but your brain says otherwise. If I’m very tired I will sleep straight away, but if I lie there sometimes a thought lingers to another thought and so on.
13) Avoiding gossip, but being the counselor of it. This doesn’t happen so much anymore, as I work alone. However, I find as the private person I am, more people like to tell me about their personal lives or things that are bothering them.
14) Not ever feeling like you really fit in. Whether it’s a group or similar, you are more of a lone wolf. You do crave being with close people, but you also crave alone time.
15) Finding and looking for the meaning of life. Your nature is to help people and to express good things into the world.
16) The ability to hide your anxiety around people. In some cases I need to hide the feeling inside and stay calm. It’s only when I’m alone will I let it out or if I’m with a very close person.
17) You don’t waste time with shallow people. INFJs want to have a deeper understanding of people’s true side. We don’t want to waste time with superficial people.
18) Sensitivity and empathy is part of your nature. At least for me I find I am extremely sensitive towards those who need comfort and understanding.
19) Things make perfect sense in your mind, but are often tricky to speak out. We tend to think before we speak. However, sometimes the words can get a bit muddled and not make sense.
20) Many people may say “You are so nice.” I think it comes down to being a good listener, having a caring nature and not having any judgment. But really, I wrote an article expressing Why being nice is not always so nice.
Let me know if you could relate to some or most of these things.