Living In A World That Praises Extroverts

Which-Disney-Animal-Should-You-AdoptEveryone is different. In a world where many people want to fit in, it’s only when we are ourselves can we appreciate our differences. If you’ve ever been left out in high school, you will understand that feeling. As someone who didn’t want to pretend to be energetic all the time or say words that are trending – I got left out a lot. An example was in gym class when the teacher asks everyone to choose another partner. I was always left as one of the last people with no partner. I don’t ask for your sympathy, because as an introvert I have faced far worse. It’s sad that it happens as a result for not trying to ‘fit in’ with the world. It doesn’t only happen while we’re young, but it also happens in business, daily life and interacting with people. All throughout primary school to high school, teachers wouldn’t hesitate to say “Don’t be too quiet, Katie”. There is a huge societal stigma for being quiet. Silent in a conversation, silent when in other’s company, silence.

To the people who outwardly say they dislike someone but act nicely when they are around, I will never understand. As an introvert, I tend to keep it to myself if I dislike what someone does. The thing I want to address (which may seem harsh), is that some people who are quite talkative are just making noise. I knew many discussions that were very repetitive and didn’t have any depth. But some of the quietest souls, when they do speak, they usually speak what they have been thinking about for a while. Extroverts generally make friends more easily and are happy to be in social environments, which makes them feel even more energetic. This article is not to say introverts are better than extroverts, but to point out how much society praises the extrovert.

Being an extrovert is seen as the good, and being introverted is often seen as an issue, especially when you are a child. This paragraph from here explains it so well: We live in a live-out-loud think-out-loud society. Being an extrovert is praised and admired and being an introvert is often viewed as a problem that needs to be overcome or pitied, particularly in childhood. The invaluable benefits of being introverted are often overlooked when people don’t look deep enough. And because we’re often taught as children to be ashamed of our introverted nature by society, we grow up constantly fighting against ourselves instead of maximizing our strengths. We all have different personalities, but I believe we should be praised for our actions rather than our outward appearance.

There are often group situations and naturally I tend to end up listening. I already have gradually made my answer in my mind, but sometimes I don’t end up saying it through all the discussion. This article here from BBC explains it all too well. When I was at university, naturally everyone was socialising. However, after a while it really wore me out and I realised how much time I needed to spend alone. As we grow older it’s important to learn to speak up when you need to. It’s also wise to learn when to keep quiet.We need introverts and extroverts in the world to keep a balanced society. If you ever feel there is something wrong with you for being introverted, try reading this article here. It contains a wonderful quote from Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist who said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

7 thoughts on “Living In A World That Praises Extroverts

  1. I came across this post and although I do not have a wordpress account, I felt incredibly compelled to make one in order to address the fundamental bias and lack of education within this post. This is not a hate comment but a review from another introvert’s perspective. If an introvert’s true desire was to feel more accepted, welcomed by a certain group of people, the only way to accomplish that is to hold conversation and CONNECT with people on a certain level, this law accounts for all people, introvert or not. This brings us to the sole difference between being anti-social and being an introvert. “Fitting in” in an “extrovert-praised” society (if that is the case), should not be an issue for myself and my introverted individuals as that is not what they are about. We don’t need to “pretend to be energetic” because we are not and most of my extroverted friends can agree that neither are they. Being left out from a community we share no interests in, should not be a cheap excuse to blame being introverted for.

    “All throughout primary school to high school, teachers wouldn’t hesitate to say “Don’t be too quiet, Katie”. There is a huge societal stigma for being quiet. Silent in a conversation, silent when in other’s company, silence.”
    but that is completely absurd to me as I feel like there is a greater societal stigma for public disruption being “loud” than being “quiet” (which is a little confusing as to why you would heavily associate these meanings with introverts and extroverts). You will definitely find that teachers will also, not hesitate to say “Don’t be too loud, Katie”, either. And you wouldn’t blame someone for questioning your functionality if they ask you a question during a conversation and you reply with absolute “silence”. Anyway, being an introvert or an extrovert have nothing to do with being antisocial or social, respectively. We should all begin to understand our differences and learn to enjoy connecting with people we share true interests with instead of comparing ourselves to one another, or finding sweet comfort in relatable, non-credible online articles.

    I strongly characterize myself as an introvert and it’s important to remember that “introversion is a personality trait characterized by a focus on internal feelings rather than on external sources of stimulation.” Yes, introverts do appreciate solitude to a much higher degree than extroverts (as studies show) however, that does not and SHOULD not deter us away from socializing and connecting with other people.

  2. Oh wow, I really appreciate that anyone would take the time to leave their thoughts on one of my blog posts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, and do know I carefully read through your comment! It seems such a while ago that I wrote this! I’m sure there are some misunderstandings in the text, which is natural because to be honest this whole blog post is all based on my opinion. I didn’t do any research but I’m glad to get a second opinion. This is my personal experience, and everyone will have their own experience :) although I could of worded some things better. What you said is very true, “We should all begin to understand our differences and learn to enjoy connecting with people we share true interests with instead of comparing ourselves to one another.” I do love socialising and connecting with people as well, but I also prefer spending time alone to recharge. Would love to hear your thoughts again.

    1. No worries! And I do see where you’re coming from with the post. From a really early age, I always found myself striving to be an extrovert when really, all I needed to do was socialize, maybe not to an extrovert’s extent but just enough to build true relationships, relationships that will accommodate my introversion. I appreciate you expressing your feelings and your opinions and I’m very sure that many can relate to it. Thanks for acknowledging my comment and my thoughts and experience and I hope many others who also come across your blog may gain a few insights on what is it like to live in a society that is capable of accepting both introverts and extroverts.

      Carolyn.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s