It’s the last month of Autumn, and the brown leaves are only just beginning to fall off the branches. There’s something about staring out of the windows that is almost like staring into another world. People walking on the streets and wondering mysteriously where they may be going and what they may be doing. A person with bright green hair, a person in a suit waiting for a taxi or a skater going past. If you are someone who also loves Winter, you may be able to relate to the comforting feeling of rain. The thing I love is getting home and getting out of my rain drop clothes, and into nice warm and toasty clothes. Do you ever have those cinematic moments in your life? When something doesn’t feel real, but it is. It’s a pinch of how magical life can be. Sydney is beautiful in Autumn. Especially when the leaves start to paint the streets and you can crunch on them to your delight. Whenever I need to go into the city, it always makes me miss the country side.
There is something about seeing the colours black, grey and white suits and formal wear everywhere that tingles my spine. Not literally, but it makes me realise how sometimes the adult world can be strange in some ways. It also reminds me that I don’t want to work in the corporate world, if I can help myself. If I could ever have a job to take care of cats all day, write books and stop by the cafe, I think I would do it in a heart beat. Then again, that is possible, but I suppose for now, I need to make do. As someone who doesn’t like phone calls with people I am not close to, it’s the little things like the phone ringing. The train of thought is taken at a halt and stopped right on the tracks mid second. There is no escape from the chitter chatter. I finally went to Donut Time yesterday and got a Vegan Fox (a dark chocolate covered donut with pistachio and strawberries) to treat myself.It was so delicious, and I felt as if I was savoring every bite.
Waking up in the morning, one of the first things I can conquer is to simply get out of bed. It seems like a small thing, but I feel as if when we allow ourselves to wake to the new day, we are inviting new opportunities, moments and experiences. It always seems to be the little things in life that can cause people to argue, to laugh together, get upset or have a wonderful time. Similar to a light switch, it can go up and down so quickly at a flick. All the little successes accumulate to where we end up wanting to be. I believe this so deeply, because my goal is to truly do something I love with all my heart. We all get certain words told to us repetitively throughout our lives, and one of them that was and is still told to me is “You are still young”. This is mostly because I have always been surrounded by people 2-3 years older than me growing up when I skipped a grade. I still take that advice because I am not 20 yet, and even in our 20’s we are really finding ourselves and discovering what on Earth we want to do with our lives.
I don’t think life is something we can figure out in a day, or a year in this case. Keeping in mind that the more we experience, the more we know what we don’t like and what we love. But, as a young child we are commonly asked what we want to do. Already we are set with societies expectation in knowing and deciding something. However, life is very unpredictable and things change. Other times, it’s curiosity to know what a child wants to be, but we forget how short childhood is. Many children want to grow up so fast to become an adult, when they are just living life as it comes. When I was younger, I wanted to be an Artist, Writer, Singer, Zoologist and Concert musician. All I knew in my heart was that I loved animals so much and I love creativity. It was as simple as that. Even till this day, I feel that life is too short to do anything you don’t enjoy.
As I enjoy my last few weeks of teenage hood, it’s safe to say I still don’t know what I want to do or will do in the next year or so. The unpredictability should make it more interesting. We can do anything we want, and it shouldn’t be limited to one word. Otherwise we limit a child’s full potential to explore everything. What they like and don’t like. There is a white flower outside of my window that comes and goes by each season. When the weather is warm the lady birds are crawling against the window. Even the term grown up makes me cross eyed, because really I feel whatever age I will be, I’m still learning and growing each day.