Deep Talk: Beyond The Layers Of Our Skin

9c7fc346a6b8c6938f0bcb496a461bf4Beyond the layers of our skin is a human being with a story. Filled with a past history, new chapters and unpublished futures. We live with the same clock ticking by, where every arrow directs a different memory for every person. Our time on Earth is ambiguous.

The unknown is a wide valley of mysterious waiting to unfold. This immense, vast space of the human experience can be narrowed by false judgment of our physicality.  I previously wrote in We live in a Shallow World, to address how we often judge based on appearances and assumptions. The difficulty with getting to the real deep topics is that often we will still ignore it. It’s easier especially for Generation Y to glaze over the hard things and go with things that give us instant gratification. Naturally, the first impression we have when meeting a new person, is the way a person looks, moves and talks. However the words superficiality, materialism and conformity, well, these words are all too apparent from our endless need to have things we don’t need. What saddens me is the extremity to be ‘beautiful’. All too common, the desire is to be more physically appealing. And all too common people judge others by the way they look.

The sort of judgment of others I cannot tolerate is the ones that people make from seeing one sentence of a full book or a single paint stroke of a water painting. There is such a huge difference in those who speak of others in ignorance and those who speak with facts. Ignorance is talking of others as if you know them, it’s labeling someone and categorising them. It is the sort of gossip you hear in all the cluttered noise, that have no value, depth and truth. Talking of others with facts is saying it like it is. An extreme example is when talking about someone going through cancer or a mental illness. “Never judge others. You both know good and well how unexpected events can change who a person is. Always keep that in mind. You never know what someone else is experiencing within their own life.”  ― Colleen Hoover, Slammed

As a thinker, I tend to keep most of my thoughts to myself. Most people are much more straight forward and will speak their mind. If we all put value in things that really matter, how different the world would be. However, the value we place on the way things look, than the way things are is immense. What we see on the surface, often has a long history behind it. Everyone’s experiences within their lives are different. Nobody is perfect. It’s been said many times, but it couldn’t be any truer. Everyone has flaws, and everyone is different. Beautiful images can be appealing, but the Instagram-like instantaneous attention span is short. At the rate that we see things at a glance, our society can make a snap judgment like a camera shot.

Our lives are deeper than that. Everything online and offline is what we want to show. The way we express and show others online or in real life are often what we allow ourselves to reveal. We must remind ourselves that judgment and constructive criticism are two very different things. Judgment can often try to pull others down, where as constructive criticism is to encourage positive change and improvement. Judgment has limitations and narrows the ability for truth to speak. We silence the truth and understanding of others through noise and senseless judgment.

This article was written from a nightmare I had last night of a memory of a past friend of a friend in my high school group. The hurt I felt from being judged for so many years from her eyes behind all my other friends. The feeling of being stared at with dislike when the person had no understanding of the silent sufferings I was feeling at the time or what I was going through really hurt me more than I can write here. The realisation how many people are intolerable of introverts and how much our society applauds extroverts. Let’s change that judgement. Let’s stop judging others for the way they look or for being different. Nobody deserves that.

We learn nothing from speaking falsely of others in person, in the media and online. As soon as we create a standard, definition and requirement of what beauty is or how a person should be, we will lack understanding and only continue to judge. It’s got to do with putting yourself in other people’s shoes and seeing how far you can come to truly understand them. I like the empathy that comes from acting. – Christian Bale. This rings true, as when we place ourselves in others shoes we are only able to understand what they may be going through.

In popular culture we talk about embracing our curves or thin bodies, we talk about losing weight and eating healthy. Yet no one speaks more about internal characteristics. There is a constant defining of people being skinny, fat, beautiful, ugly… Appearance is only a part of our selves we reveal, yet the one that makes us whole, complete and truly understood is the person inside ourselves. If we limit our self worth to the way we look, then we will never find out who we truly are beneath. Most of all a person’s appearance does not define their self worth or status in society. Words should be said not to pull others down but to lift each other up.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”  ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

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