Why Being Nice Is Not Always So Nice

snowhite.pngI believe in kindness. That is, I believe the only way to live an enriched life filled with gratitude, faith and love is to fill it with kindness. There can only be benefits in living with kindness, but then again (as I write this article) there have been moments where I felt hurt by others who do not return kindness. Being kind is to be humble, modest and honest. Nice, however is something different in it’s entirety. The recipe for kindness needs a balance with being nice and assertive. Unfortunately, there are many people who are mean, and will take advantage of people who are nice. Kindness is never ever wrong.

1) People take advantage of you. This one I cannot stress enough. As I grow older, I notice the signs almost immediately and learn to distant myself from the person. Be aware of people who only talk to you to benefit themselves. Sadly, when I was younger or at University, I had been taken advantage countless times for helping others. Whether it was with their homework, where in the end they simply want all the answers. Or, often people will ask you for favours, constantly when they think you won’t say no. The thing is nice people – well – we do say no when we want to, but most of the time we are just so willing to help without expecting the favour to be returned.

2) It can be hard to make friends. This is sort of a personal one. I find it harder to trust people quickly when I make friends. Whether it is having the feeling that someone may take advantage of you, ask for a lot or expect you to always be nice. The truth is there will always be manipulative people in the world. People who are unkind, mean, judgmental and unhappy. They want to bring your positive vibe down, where as all they need is an uplift. If you ever find a hidden gem that is genuine, kind and cares for you – they’re a keeper!

3)Being called weak and innocent. It’s funny how much this is also compared with being shy, introverted or quiet. Kindness is actually a strength. People who take advantage of kind people, is because they may feel insecure. When someone agrees to help, they feel as if they have won, they feel more powerful. However, most of the time kind people are so willing to help, they look at the more important things, which is to lift a person up. Not to benefit themselves. Innocence – well that may come from the fact that we don’t talk about terrible or negative things a lot. If I were to tell you all the things I have been through in my life, then your perspective of me would be different – naturally.

4) Acting different around you. Being kind can either make some people wonder “Why did they do this or that?” or they feel as if they need to be more polite around you. Ah – I so wish that that wouldn’t be the case. Random acts of kindness are there to be a spark of happiness and bring a smile to others. There is nothing expected in return. In many cases, I find many people talk differently to me. It’s a very different side that feels more real, but as soon as they talk to others, it is back to this conforming way of speaking. I really wish it wouldn’t be like that.

5) Not everyone is empathetic. Being a kind person, can often mean you understand people’s emotion in a way that unkind people cannot. If someone cries, if someone rages, if someone does something out of the ordinary, you take it out of the box, and think what they could be going through. A lot of the time in society we can be very surfaced level, instantaneously judgmental or make quick assumptions. Remember there is much more that meets to the eyes. Often, there is a lot more that goes behind the scenes to what we can fully understand.

The thing is being kind makes me feel happy, and as I’m sure makes many people happy. No matter where you walk there will always be people who are negative, mean, having a terrible day, use others for their own advantage and the list goes on. The main thing is to stay true to yourself. Don’t surround yourselves with people like that, and spread kindness. It’s contagious! Being hurt can often give us the biggest lessons of all. Wisdom and Understanding.

“One who is kind is sympathetic and gentle with others. He is considerate of others’ feelings and courteous in his behavior. He has a helpful nature. Kindness pardons others’ weaknesses and faults. Kindness is extended to all — to the aged and the young, to animals, to those low of station as well as the high.” -Ezra Taft Benson

16 thoughts on “Why Being Nice Is Not Always So Nice

  1. Great article. I relate to this a lot. You are a very kind nice girl and I am grateful to be your friend and feel blessed. I’ll have to write you some songs and stories when I am not so sleepy.

      1. I posted my ‘Megan Keeffe’ book its part real life story and part fiction. Non horror about two friends going on a walk. I wrote 840 stories I will post a bunch of the non horror ones for you to read. Yea I didn’t read all your articles yet but I’ll be checking them out deff in my free time. You are a talented and exceptional writer who will just become better and better in time. Awesome blog you got there Katie.

      2. Thanks Katie I am writing a book for my friend Paris not horror a romance light comedy. I am going to enjoy it a lot. Your welcome Katie keep up the great writing and good things will come from it!

  2. Number 1 is so incredibly true, i cant relate to that more. At some point, i realized that i needed to start taking care of myself and putting myself first before i reach out to help others though and i think now ive found a happy balance.

  3. I can relate to this. It shouldn’t be the case that one can be too nice, but in this world we live in
    you certainly can be too nice. But only because others are not nice at all. Some people see niceness as weakness and prey on it. So I guess assertiveness should go hand in hand with niceness. Great post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s