Happiness is attractive. Do you ever notice that as individuals we tend to want to show our best side to others. Which is only natural, considering how contagious a smile is. What if I asked you the times you felt upset, sad and angry? There is something about hiding our feelings in order to be seen as calm and normal. If a baby is upset, they are sure to let everyone know. It shows the honesty and purity of being a child. As you grow older, you realise that whatever negative emotion you are feeling, you need to hide to some extent.
It drives me crazy being a hyper sensitive person. But it’s something I need to accept. It is as if every blood vessel, skin particle and sense is aware of every part of my surrounding. Every word spoken and facial expression shown is taken to heart. Moments of panic attacks, breaking down, lying on the ground and feeling emotional about the tiniest little thing. It is easy to feel overwhelmed and it is easy to create stress that doesn’t exist. You will often be told ‘Don’t think too much’ or ‘Don’t be so sensitive’. In which both cases don’t help at all. Have you ever taken a shower and noticed how much the water running against your skin looks like never ending water vessels?
I find it easier to work by myself, and find it so difficult to express my full opinions and ideas in a group situation. What does an emotionally sensitive person notice? They notice when someone is not very compassionate and they notice empathy more profoundly. Just in this one year alone, I have been to the doctors three times, which is more than the amount of times I have been in the last nine years. I have applied over a hundred jobs and had several failed interviews. Many people view sensitivity as a weakness, that makes one vulnerable. Being sensitive does not make you weak.
A paragraph from Thought Catalog that really spoke to me:Being sensitive is not being weak. It is the part of being human that allows you to be in tune to your soul, gives you permission to follow your instinct and have faith in yourself even when the odds are stacked against you. Being sensitive allows you to look at people as being flawed but still beautiful, as being more alike than we are different. We are able to be more empathetic and put our ego aside when we are acting, speaking and feeling from a sensitive mind and heart. So why, if it makes us so much more aware and better people, is it still such a stigma in our society?
Everything must be in proportion in order to be healthy, such as eating chocolate. In this case, being highly sensitive is seen as being over emotional. Someone that falls into the category of being more prone to depression, suicide and being a loner.It’s simply a stereotype. High Sensitivity is a lot more common in society than we realise. It’s such an internal thing that most people won’t be aware that someone is highly sensitive. I remember most of the influential people I heard talking in a seminar, lecture, class or at home, tell us one advice. That no matter when we are studying or in the working world, the most important thing is building relationships and to be kind. Manners are like a boomerang.
We live in a society where saying you are good, is expected, because it’s much more easier than explaining why you are sad. We live in a society that in some aspects needs more compassion and understanding. I remember a few years ago, I attended the doctors to support a family member. Of course, there are doctors who are caring, but this doctor was the most robotic doctor I’d ever met. I was shouting in my head, literally wanting to tell him to have a heart and show some compassion. As a young girl, I felt as if I never fit in, because a part of me wanted to hide behind a wall and distance myself between certain people. As every year passes by, I accept that I like to be on my own 80% of the time. I learn that for every one hour I socialise, I need to have several hours on my own to refuel. I realise that I over analyse and think too deeply about certain things. I realise that we will never ever be able to please every one. Like they say, haters gonna hate. That saying always makes me sad though. What a way to waste your life.
Whenever I read Humans Of New York, it puts my head in perspective. It reminds me that everyone has a story. It’s incomparable. I was so immature when I was younger, that I would always say, “But their family… But this… But that”. Rather than having gratitude and thinking, I’m grateful to have food on the table every night, clothes to wear and to grow up in a beautiful country side. I’m grateful to have education, music, family and a God that loves me. Because, through the thick and thin, I truly believe that I would not be here today if I didn’t find faith in God. I’m learning every day. My imperfections. My thoughts. We often pin point every problem we have, that may really just be one or two small details. We forget to gratefully remember every thousand beautiful things we should be grateful for.
Often there will be people who tell you things as if they know you better than you know yourself. Whether that is a stranger, family member or friend. You know yourself better than anyone else. You know how you think, feel and do things. In High School, I had an English teacher that was really passionate about teaching. She said, when you leave high school, there will be situations that are much harder to deal with. It was great how she was realistic. It was straight to the point. Yes, everyones going to go through the battle, but that’s what determines whether we grow stronger or weaker from it. It teaches us how much our choices are a million times more important than our abilities (Hence, Harry Potter reference). I really believe that though. I believe that from the bottom of my heart.
People will always judge other people from the details they know ( See Daily Thoughts #14), which may be from several words someone said, a few sentences, a conversation. Those only take few minutes to a few hours. Do we ever consider the thousands of seconds a person lives that other people don’t see? As a sensitive person, I wish the world could know that more and more every day, we need to have more compassion, empathy, love and understanding. Strip away the layer of pre-judgment we have of others and open our hearts to believe in others and encourage one another. People are all going through their own wonderful moments and tough moments.
The truth is, I’m only human. Just as you are. I get nervous easily, I suffer anxiety to some degree, I am sensitive, I have panic attacks. But it’s all me. Being seen as highly sensitive is not a weakness. It does not mean that you cannot cope as well in society and it certainly doesn’t mean that you cannot succeed. Embrace yourself with all your flaws and all.
“yes, I have feelings
and no, I’m not afraid of them
not even the shadowy ones
that you’d rather ignore
i gather them in
welcome them home
give them space to breathe
and light them on glorious fire
just to see
what might be illuminated
while they burn”
― Jeanette LeBlanc
Some similar articles I wrote that touch on sensitivity:
The Truth About Introverts
Photo Source: barefoot