It’s the last week of the Semester break. I think my new years resolution is not really looking completed *sigh*. That’s okay though. I think everyone has had the list of unrealistic goals at the start of the new year, planning to tick off everything on the list.
I’m happy that the sun is finally out today. The weather has been so gray and cloudy this past week, which really does affect your mood. At least to me it does. I always find gray days just make me want to stay home and snuggle in my blankets, while eating and watching a movie.
One of my new year’s resolution every year is to worry less. I think worrying is one of those feelings that can be so internal, people often don’t notice that someone is feeling anxious, worried or upset. It’s so easy for people to hide their feelings and show something different on the outside. I remember so many days going to high school, feeling terrible but still laughing with everyone. It was somehow a way of avoiding questions and having to say anything personal.
As being an intense worrier over the years, I have gradually gotten a lot better compared to my early teen years. Those were the intense years of always asking myself every single hour of the day “what if?..how come?..”. There comes to a point where you realise there is truly and I mean seriously no point in worrying. The times that I have worried so badly and took the wrong actions because I could not think logically. The consequences were never good.
It can be such a personal thing that we, ourselves, you need to take control of it. People can give you so much advice and care for you, but it is your ability to change yourselves. No one else can change who you want to be. I think happiness is a choice. There are so many people who are less fortunate, and they are happy because it just means they are satisfied with what they have. Today, in society, many people have everything or really more than anything but there is still a sense of wanting more and dissatisfied feelings. We are always wanting more, more and more.
It’s important to realise how much gratitude we should have everyday. It’s so easy to get carried away in one worried thought and stay in that bubble. Think to yourself, does it ever actually solve the problem? Sitting there worrying about will I do well in this exam? What if I don’t do well? Am I good enough at this? Wouldn’t it be better to take action and tell you self. No, I can do this, and actually do something about it?
Everyone has there own story to tell, and their own past, present and future. . We have all experienced different moments in life, that shape our views and perspectives on different situations. It’s part of being human. I have experienced depression, not seriously, but on the scale that it allowed me to realise how deep a hole a person can place themselves in. I can honestly say worrying caused me to be an unhappy person. It made me feel even more introverted and think very deeply about everything.
From my 18 years of life, I have learned that every negative feeling of worry, hate, anger, and being upset does not solve anything. It does not make the situation improve. It can worsen relationships, your daily routine, job etc. It is the choice and decision to live a happy life that comes to our own ability. The way we think has the hugest influence on who we will become, who we are today, how we talk to others and how we think of ourselves.
Our mind inspires us, encourages us, comforts us and educates us. It is so easy to be caught up in other people’s minds and agree with the rest of the world. It’s so easy to conform to everything else that is happening in the world, when we forget that we are so unique and special as individuals. The feelings of worry is such a normal thing, it’s not usually seen as a problem. However, if you ever experience worry to the degree that it affects your emotion everyday, the people around you and what you say, then you know it will cause a heck of a lot of stress, tears and anxiety.
When people ask what is happiness, everyone has their own definition. Today in society we are caught up in instantaneous happiness. Buying a chocolate cake, going to the movies, riding on a roller coaster or buying a necklace. It doesn’t last very long. The real happiness is the one we experience on the inside. It comes from our heart and makes it warm, and this made me realise how the same thing applies to worrying. It comes from inside of us and can damage who we are. Our body is so sensitive to emotions just as much as being physically hurt or hit in the face. Just like words, it can affect us in so many different ways.
If you had the choice what would you choose: to always be unsatisfied, worrying and upset or to be completely grateful for the small things?