Life In General Right Now & Weekly Faves

I’ve been having a somewhat struggle and first world problem, in which I didn’t apply for a writing job. Being the organised self I am, I know I need to somehow make the job hunt my current job. I recently stumbled across a writing opportunity, and realised I ticked off all the points. It was until I realised it was in an open office environment and would be a full time role, I was turned off. I’m sure many of those close to me would say “Katie, go for it!” and as great as that would be. I didn’t. I attached my CV, my information, then ended up removing it.

During the start of the year, I was thinking about whether I needed to go back to counselling. However, I felt I would be alright this time, and I do think so. I have to thank those close to me, praying in my alone time and writing daily for calming me down. Listening to music, reading more books, eating healthy, drinking lots of water and exercising more has also helped in so many ways. Although, I experience that feeling every few days where I feel as if I’m the only one that is feeling like an outsider. I know in my heart that many people are feeling the same. Those walking on the streets outside of my window and those far away on the other side of the world. It will be okay.

The reason I decided not to apply for the job, was from previous experiences of working in offices, and knowing myself that I would feel suffocated talking to people constantly, riding the train every morning and the subtle conflicts that may happen every now and then with certain people. I know my anxiety causes me to have panic attacks and in my past jobs I have had a panic attack in front of the staff members, out of my control and unpredictable. I don’t want to get into this too much, so I will leave it at that.

Nevertheless, I am keeping my hopes high. It’s not the end of the world, and as a 20 year old (with no excuse of being very young anymore), I feel fine and much calmer than I did compared to last year. Life isn’t supposed to be worked out in one go at any age, and I think whatever happens, happens. Sometimes we have to be patient for the good things to come. If we rush too much, we will end up doing something we don’t enjoy or only do it for the money. This week, I have been enjoying reciting a few positive words to myself, each morning and night before I sleep. Some include:

Everything can and will change

There is always something to be grateful for

Anything is Possible

You have lots of strength as a person

The videos I watched this week tumblr_nmna3siImD1txice2o1_500.png

McKenna Kaelin

Savannah Brown

Laura Ribeiro

Kimbra 

The Common Misconceptions About INFJs

d0eeeeb58da3ea45f3f60e2b964429d2.jpgIf there is something I feel that many INFJ’s may be able to relate to, it is the feeling of being different and sometimes (or often) misunderstood. Most of these points are from my own personal experience, and perhaps you have experienced it too. There have been moments where I feel I wasn’t able to clearly articulate what I was trying to express as much as it narrates in my mind. Other times I feel that others may make assumptions on who I am, because I don’t show a lot of myself.

Many situations in daily life, cause me to feel so deeply inside and the world around me seems to feel heightened in its movement. Have you ever asked yourself “Am I the only one who feels this way?” or question the meaning of your life and the ongoing pulsating beat in your mind, striving to think how you yourself can make the world a better place? I had written a similar posts about introverts, and the common myths about introverts that aren’t true.

Our way of talking in conversations. Most of the time, I am the listener. INFJs are very good at analysing certain situations and giving good advice. Call it the caring nature within us. I know for myself, the misconception is that we speak less in conversations. It is true that we spend more time listening. However, if we are passionate about something, we can talk about it with ease. Other times, it may take more energy. It also depends on who we are talking with.

That we think we are special because we are ‘rare’. Surely, everyone is special and different. Yes indeed. Although, I do agree that it is often overwritten in the online world in a way that can indicate that we are better, because we are not easily understood. There is this mystique in the way INFJs are often portrayed because we are generally more private.The thing is most of us don’t think we are any more special than the person beside us. We just feel things more internally and sometimes more intensely.

We aren’t able to have leadership roles. I believe this is from societies praise of the extrovert in social situations. However, I believe INFJ’s make great bosses because of their fair, empathetic and organised nature. They make good listeners and want their workers to always strive for the best within themselves. INFJ’s also value good relationships very much and are intuitive in understanding others feelings.

Relying on our emotions to make decisions. It is very true to some degree that I will follow how I feel more so as I view myself as a very emotional person. It is a misconception that in making important decisions, we don’t consider the logic and facts within. We do analyse those areas, however our feeling about it is often stronger. For example, if we don’t enjoy a job, we are likely to feel the need to leave. But we will consider the financial security during that time. If we don’t enjoy being with a friend, we are likely to go our separate ways. But we will consider the pros and cons for doing so.

Assuming we have a soft shell.  I’ve been told very often that I’m shy, quiet and soft spoken. In a few of my past jobs I had gone to the bathroom several times to cry. I am very strong about the misconception of having a soft shell, because of the way I have been treated in the past and sometimes even in the present. I don’t think many people realise how much INFJ’s hold within themselves, whether it’s from pain, hurt or people. We don’t tend to talk about others or engage in gossip, and we certainly don’t want to be involved in drama. Whereas most people are very commonly open to doing so. I’ve written many times that sensitivity, being emotional and introvert are not weak.

We are too deep to enjoy the simple things. I’m sure many can understand the feeling of being a deep thinker. However, I am also someone who is easily amused if I really like something. I enjoy talking to people who are friendly and easy to talk to and as anyone else, I enjoy doing simple things from taking a walk at the park, going to the movies or sitting at the cafe with a friend. We do love our time alone at home to do our own thing, whether that’s reading, writing, listening to music or cooking, but we still need those small bouts of social interactions.

Being very nice and warm to everyone. This is from my experience. I’d like to think I am a friendly person. There are times however, I just don’t feel up to speaking to people or putting on a smile. I previously wrote about why being nice is not always so nice. I had been motivated to write it when I was tired of how many ‘nice’ people are taken advantage of. I like to think most INFJ’s are kindhearted and warm all the time, but the reality is someday’s (for myself) I just want to do my own thing and keep to myself.

INFJ’s are hard to make friends with. I think this comes down to how we are very selective. We want to be sure that we are friends with someone who we can trust. If someone hurts us, it’s more likely that we will cut them out of our lives straight away. In relationships, we generally take them more seriously and look for long term. In fact, most INFJ’s are super easy to get a long with and be friends with. But, in terms of becoming close friends, it often takes time to flourish and grow as we get to know someone more and more – we open up gradually.

That our personality type defines our personality. Everyone is different, even though we are sure to have many similarities possibly in values, the world and feelings. Some descriptions may apply to others and some may not. We may have all sorts of careers, and perhaps there could be INFJ’s out there who do enjoy their call service job (please let me know if you do!)

We always have our heads in the clouds. I do enjoy the feeling of being in another world and I am more connected with the arts if anything. I wouldn’t mind if someone called me weird or quirky. However, I do believe that many INFJ’s are dreamers and believers. But we are grounded at the same time. We want to make the world a better place.

image via rose-png-25.png

Daily Thoughts: All The World’s A Stage

I can’t remember when I heard those words from Shakespeare’s play, As You Like It. It’s been nearly every day where I feel as if my mind is running on a wind mill, moving and moving with my thoughts running like water and wind. I’ve been putting pen to paper to write pages of my thoughts, letting them sink into the paper. Yet, sometimes I think about how the part that I show to the world, conceals how much I hide of myself. I’m not sure how I interpret those words All the world’s a stage, because they are said in a melancholy way. It makes me feel as if I am lying on my bed listening to Lana Del Rey’s Kill Kill. Perhaps we are all actors in the world in some way and maybe it’s a dramatic way of expressing everyday living in the way we talk, walk and our personalities viewed from different eyes of the audiences.

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages..

When I’m feeling sad or like to be left alone, I like to think that I hold a disguise within myself, in which no one else sees. Although, it seems silly because when I am calm I realise that even then, I don’t reveal a lot of myself to most people. Call it the introvert and private part of me. In my past posts, I wrote a lot about being yourself. It’s so important to stay true to yourself. I believe this very deeply because that’s all we can be at the end of the day. It’s interesting, how many characters many people can play. Others may be able to switch on exuberance or the manners of an unreserved nature. Unfortunately, there are people who take advantage of their characters, which makes me wonder if it is best that we just keep to ourselves.

There are moments where I need to use more energy to look interested, as many actions of interests are often through high energy in ones voice, actions and facial expression. What I struggle with is that often I am very deeply interested, but perhaps my face doesn’t show it. I feel it internally, yet having to constantly be energetic makes me feel as if my fuel is running low. We all speak the words we do and act the way we are, because it is in our character. Our lives have different lines, chapters and highs and lows. I’d like to think of our lives like a book, because it makes it much more beautiful. Reading always takes me into another world, and so our lives bring us back to our own.

When we wake up, we decide what to wear and how to present ourselves. We decide the script we speak and the actions we take. There are times when I walk on the city roads, and somehow people are always in a rush, always needing to be somewhere, always out of time and sometimes a little sad eyed. The rush through life, that reminds me to slow down. We play different roles in society, some important (relationships) and others not so important (job position). Then again, the meaning of stage also points at the different chapters of our lives from childhood to adulthood until death. As it speaks about the seven ages of men in the play: The helpless infant, The whining schoolboy, The emotional lover, The devoted soldier, The wise judge, The clueless old man, The corpse.

It is used in the figurative sense, but can be interpreted in so many ways.

5 Tips To Save Money On Braces

5c35d62e64aacdb8a4c57a10d88de47e.jpgIf you are planning to get braces in the near future, then a good way to look ahead is to save money. A good idea is to visit several orthodontists (or dentists) for quotes and feedback. This allows you to have a better understanding of how much your braces will cost, compare prices and get a feel of who you are most comfortable with. Most orthodontic practices will allow a monthly plan or similar for flexible payments.

For a bit of perspective, I have wanted braces ever since 2008. During that time I was still in high school, and knew that once I could afford to do so, I would love to have braces. Patience and determination is definitely a huge part in saving money. For what may seem like thousands of dollars, know that each bit of it counts. My own treatment costs more than the average, as every individuals situation is different. I have previously written about tips on saving money and how to spend less, if you would like to check out some more tips.

i.jpg1) Shop smart and cook more.

This one is mostly from my own experience, as I ate out a bit too frequently in 2015. Whether it was the odd sushi box or noodles. It’s good to eat out every so often, but sometimes it can add up significantly, if it becomes too frequent. The ingredients for pasta can be bought for under $15, which is the price of one plate of pasta at a cafe. However, you will have left overs for the next 2 meals and save another $30. When you go grocery shopping, try to compare prices of similar products for the best option and shop on days when there are discounts.

hollygolightly1.jpg2) Differentiate between need and want. 

Self control is very important, because it’s easy to tell yourself “I’d love to buy that dress” or “I want those headphones”. Most things we don’t need, and the ability to make the sacrifice for a while, to save (especially if you’re on a tight budget) will be worth it in the long run. For example, groceries is definitely a weekly need, but shopping for clothes is a want. Toiletries are a monthly need, but monthly subscriptions are a want. When I go out to shop for my weekly things, I like to make a list and stick with it. It also keeps me on my budget and makes sure I don’t spend anything I don’t need. 
t.jpg3) Work for it. 

There’s no easier way to explain it. Braces are an investment. If you are going to pay for braces on your own, you need to have a job to pay for it. For half a year, I worked at a cafe on Saturday and Sundays, while juggling another job during the week to save up. After saving enough, it was rewarding to be able to drop the shifts, and have my weekends free. Once you have your braces on you will really appreciate those extra hours of work. Having a steady income means you can pay monthly for your braces, without having to pay one off. 
m.jpg4) Take care of your teeth. 

Believe it or not, right before starting my braces journey, I hadn’t had my teeth cleaned at the dentist for nearly eight years (guilty). I went to the dentist at the beginning of the year to have my teeth cleaned before my procedure and had 4 fillings done in that month. Note: you should generally have your teeth cleaned 1-2 times a year. I hadn’t realised that my teeth required fillings but the price added up after having them done. Make sure to brush your teeth after having sweet foods and floss daily. A filling can add up hundred of dollars to your braces treatment. 

m5) Choose a good orthodontist. 

Having your treatment with someone you can trust is extremely important, considering you will be paying a lot of money for the procedure. Some orthodontists provide free consultations and some require payment. Personally, I saw a few paid and free to compare prices. Initially, I went to my dentist in Sydney to get braces. However my situation was more complex, and he referred me to a specialist orthodontist. He gave me the quote that the previous orthodontists and dentists all gave me. I knew he had patients flying in from Perth and other various places. They also had flexible payment options which was really convenient. I believe that you will save a lot of money from choosing someone who will take care of your teeth well and ensure your braces goes smoothly and successfully.

Hanskin Preneer Mineral Magic BB Cream Review

mHanskin is a Korean beauty and skincare brand. As with many Asian skin products, I felt that it did make my skin a lot lighter and fair. The product also covered up most of the little freckles beneath my eyes and my sleepy eyes. It has not caused me to break out and sits lightly on the skin all day- as some BB creams or foundations can feel heavy after long wear. The consistency is not too thick and it doesn’t have any odour. After using it for 3 months, the product only needs a small amount for good coverage.

I was given the product and have been using it as sunscreen, as it has SPF 30. Generally I only use it on my forehead and under my eyes. The reason why I don’t apply the product on my nose is because I don’t want to have any pores blocked and for blackheads to build up. The only thing that puts me off a little, is when I am under bright lighting it shows that I have BB cream on, because of the contrast of my slightly tanner skin, and my face being far lighter. preneer

If you’re looking for a daily BB cream, I do think this is a good foundation, as it doesn’t tend to cause breakouts easily (from my experience). It doesn’t require a lot and has good coverage. When you’ve applied it, it also looks natural as if you aren’t wearing any face makeup, as it blends well into the skin.

g.jpg

Smile Diary: Five Months Braces Update

It feels as if these five months have flown by so quickly. I remember when I was first writing in the first few weeks of brace life, I was very careful with what I ate. However, I’m not afraid to eat nuts, tomatoes and mandarins so much any more. I’m quite impressed with the progress that’s been made in only five months, as my braces journey is estimated for another year.

Although, it will take more time to have the 4 extraction gaps completely close and correct my overbite – it will be so worth it. Today I had steel wires placed on my upper and lower teeth, with power chains to speed up the process. I was also provided with elastics, which should be worn when sleeping and during the day (except when eating).

It’s amazing how fast my teeth have already straightened, when I think back to just 5 months ago. I had quite a noticeable protrusion in my teeth at the time. As for someone who was extremely self conscious of my crooked teeth but loves to smile, I feel so much more confident smiling (even with my gaps!) now. My smile has really straightened out a lot. Cleaning is still a bit tedious, but it makes me feel extra hygienic and aware of my oral health.

Having braces has also encouraged me to eat healthier. I eat far less unhealthy foods and have eaten much more fruits and vegetables. I drink a lot more water at home and when I’m out. There has been a noticeable difference with my gaps, and they have gotten smaller over time as my teeth shift into place. I’m just so happy to finally have elastics!

image via brace flowers from rookiemag.com dandelion_PNG12876.png

Why I Get Anxious When The Phone Rings

winona.jpgIt would be wonderful to think that I can pick up the phone when it rings without a care in the world. The truth is, picking up the phone is something that makes me quite anxious. Before I go into depth on when the phone rings, I am quite comfortable talking to those I am close to or am familiar talking to. However, I hope that when I look back on this post in a years time, I would of gotten over my anxiety when the phone rings. It seems like such a small, insignificant thing. Almost laughable. Yet, there are moments where my heart beats a little faster or I wonder what to say. There are moments where I wonder if I need to go into a room alone, or walk around to keep the flow. Then other moments I wonder if I should smile, so that my voice would sound happier.

It does seem strange doesn’t it? This mainly happens when an anonymous phone number is calling me. Could it be a company, a spam caller, an old friend or a wrong number? It also occurs, when I am sitting down, focused on a task. My creativity is on sky high and my mind is buzzing in the moment – but then, unexpectedly the phone rings and suddenly it breaks my train of thought. The peak of my productivity feels as if it has been cut off. This also happens if I’m reading or writing. It may also be due to my sensitive nature, in which most noises seem to resonate much louder in my mind. Then there is the struggle when you pick up the phone and are unable to decipher what someone says. No matter how many times one may say “Pardon, can you please repeat that”.

There have been many times I don’t pick a number I don’t know, because I don’t know who it may be from. There have been other times where I may get a phone call from someone I would rather not talk to. The thing about talking on the phone, is that there is no exit door. The only exit door is the hang up button, and well, for courtesy and manners we simply can’t go straight there. We nod, and make the mm, yes, ah and ok’s. Then, because I think before I speak (but sometimes too much so), there will be a slight pause before I answer. There is also the inability to sense the facial movement and body language of the person on the other side.

I’m the sort of person who will make a huge effort to email, text and even send a snail mail. I can speak smoothly and well within an email, however over the phone, I tend to stumble a little or make too many pauses. Most of the time, I pick up the phone, feeling as if I’m reciting lines in my head. The conversation often seems to go generically (with people I don’t know/well): “Hello”, “Hello”, “How are you today?” “Good thank you, How are you?”, “I’m well thank you…” . There have been moments where an unknown number calls me, and I will google the number. Sometimes it shows a business, a spam caller or someone from a different country.

These days I do my best to pick up calls from people and ignore the mysterious numbers. When they need to, they will email me or leave me a voice mail. A phone call often makes me feel as if I am forced to talk to a stranger I’ve never met. A person I hardly know. If I do pick up on rare occasion, sometimes it’s a kind voice with good news and other times it’s a survey or sales in which I need to politely refuse. I’m sure someday I will get over the feeling.

image of winona ryder in heathers tumblr_mmys37sRh81sqewk9o1_400.gif